The Cinderella In Me:

Cinderella is a story written by Charles Perrault in 1967. It is about a broken-hearted girl whose mother has passed and then her father marries a wicked woman who is selfish and only cares about her own mean-hearted daughters.  The stepmother and stepsisters cause many pains to poor Cinderella.  She becomes a servant in her own house with no comfy place to lay her head.  She tries her best to be in good spirits, but has little hope of a better life. She finds out about a royal ball in the palace and the invitation states that anyone can come.  A piece of hope finds its way into her heart.  Her stepmother tells her she can go if she gets everything done.  Of course, it is a means to crush her again by making sure she has so many chores to do that it is impossible to get it all done.  But, Cinderella finds the strength to work extra hard all day and then stays up late at night sewing pieces of cloth together from the scraps of dresses and ribbons her stepsisters have thrown away.  When the day arrives, she proudly puts on her dress and walks out to join the group to the palace. 

When her stepmother and sisters see her, they are filled with jealousy and rage.  They rip up her dress and yell insults at her and mockingly laugh at her stupidity of thinking she would actually get to go.  She falls to the ground devastated and humiliated, she is simply broken.  When all seems to be lost, her fairy godmother shows up and flicks a wand that magically builds a beautiful dress around her and beautiful glass slippers that adorn her feet.  She is told she will return back to her old clothes when the clock strikes midnight.  She goes to the ball and dances with the prince.  She feels freer then she has ever felt in her life.  But the night ends too soon and as the clock begins to strike midnight, she flees from the prince so that he will not see her transform back into her old self.  Her slipper falls off as she runs away.  The prince picks it up and sends the duke out to all the land to find her.  Meanwhile, Cinderella’s family finds out that it was her at the ball and they lock her in the attic.  When the duke comes, she breaks out of the room and runs down the stairs. Her stepsisters are trying to cram their feet in the glass slippers, but they will not fit.  Just as the duke turns to leave, Cinderella cries out for him to wait.  He slips on the shoe and it fits perfectly.  He takes her back to the palace and the prince and her are married and live happily ever after.

We sometimes hear this story and it pains our hearts because we know that it is make believe and would not and could not happen to us.  But, when looked at in a different way, there are so many connections to that story and my own wounded heart.  It is a story of trial, hope and it has that happily ever after ending that I long for with all of my being.  The word “Cinder” means fragments of ash, a hot coal without a flame. Thus, the translation of “Cinderella” is little ash girl.  All my life, I have felt like I have been sifting through the ashes and ruins of my past.  I have felt homely and unworthy.  I have been covered by the dirt and brokenness of a childhood that should have buried me.  I have always imagined myself like the brown crayon in a crayon box.  I am useful, but I will never be the first one picked for the beauty of the color.  I function because I have to survive.  But, I want to stop functioning out of survival and spread my wings to soar.  I want to throw off my perceptions of myself and learn how to live to the fullest.  I want to find the Cinderella that is inside of me.

• Cinderella was dealt a hand of hardship and adversity in her life.  She tried her best to stay positive and to overcome it to the best of her abilities.  But even though her spirit was strong, her family and life’s dealings left her feeling insecure and covered in the lies of the enemy.  She came to a place of acceptance that this was just how life for her was going to be.  She had learned to live in that place and numbed her heart to the hope that her life could be filled with more. She resolved herself to it and lived in a survival state of mind.  She allowed herself a few joys in her solitary moments.  When no one could see her, she would sing and when she did, it was almost as if she could feel there was something more out there, she just didn’t know what it was. 

• When she learned that she was invited to the ball, a new spark for her future sprouted in her heart and she dared to hope that things could get better.  But with that piece of hope also came immense fear.  To open yourself to hope, you also have to be willing to leave the numbness and risk the pain of heartbreak.  It means being willing to let go of your control and trust that there could be a better way to live.

• When that hope arose, the enemies came in to squash it quickly.  They knew that if she allowed herself the freedom to believe she could be more, all they had worked for would be lost.  They knew they could no longer hold her captive and would be powerless if this hope spread.  They came after her in full force and tried to distract her with chores, complications and their hurtful words.  As long as she focused on the prize, she could overcome.  But then, they devastated her by ripping up the gown that she had worked so diligently on.  This gown was not just a dress.  It was a covering of all the pain of her past. It made the mess look pretty and put together.  It was her attempt to make herself appear presentable and worthy to those around her.  She desperately wanted to look like the ones who appeared to have it all together.  Without this gown, she felt unpresentable. She could not step out into public covered in ashes of shame and brokenness.   

• When her heart was shattered, she surrendered to what she thought was her fate.  She had tried as hard as she could and realized no matter what she did, she could not change the things in her life.  She could not change the feelings in her heart. She could not erase the ashes and the more she tried, the more she spread them all over her.  She fell to the ground in devastation and defeat. It was hopeless now.   

• The supernatural stepped in for the rescue.  Her heart was finally broken enough that she could no longer rely on her own strength and abilities to make a way for herself.  She had to accept the help of a higher power.  She had to cry out in anguish and surrender.  She had to admit that she couldn’t do it on her own.  She had to be willing to ask for help and to accept it.  She had to trust in something she didn’t understand.

• She was given a new image, the image of who she was always meant to be.  She saw herself for the first time for what she could be instead of who she was at that moment. She was made new.  He does not see us as we are, He sees us as we are meant to be.  He sees into our heart.  He does not see us how we look in our mess, it does not distract him as it distracts us.  He sees our future and holds it gently in His strong hands.  He will make us into new creations of mighty influence if we would just allow him to mold us, reshape us and break us from our captivities and then heal us from them.  We have to trust His ways and timing.  We have to allow him take the ashen clothes away from us so that He can give us new clothes.  We have to get uncomfortable to find true comfort in Him. 

• When she went to the ball, she was overjoyed and felt free…until she realized the time had come that her “Prince” would see her true self.  She felt like he would not accept her if he knew who she really was.  She lost the focus and became distracted by appearances and standards of the world.  She began to listen to those old voices and alarms telling her she would never be good enough.  She began to doubt that his view of her was valid because there were more voices telling her she was not worthy.  She began to doubt her ability to see what he saw in her. So, she did what any scared girl does, she ran away as fast as she could! 

• She became locked away in a room.  The enemy thought he had victory over her once again.  In that lonely place, she realized that it was not the dress, the appearance or the façade that the Prince fell in love with, it was her.  She became willing to do whatever it took to overcome being locked away. She broke free and presented herself to the Duke with the glass slipper. 

• The prince would do whatever it took to find her.  His love was pure.  Others tried to step in and keep her hidden away with their own selfish desires, but she would not be stopped.  She had to be willing to fight for it and to believe enough to extend her foot to allow the slipper to be put on.  She had to be willing to come into the open without a costume. She had to believe that she was who He saw her to be, not as she saw herself.  She had to realize her past did not have to dictate who she was inside.  It did not have to define her.  His view and love for her opened her eyes to the real Cinderella.  It was through this that victory broke through.  She and the “Prince of Peace” became one and she lived Happily Ever After.